I must say, this blog has been on my brain for a while. But for some reason I never got around to writing it. Now thanks to a kick in the ass from Rey that he doesn’t even entirely know that he gave me, I’m going to get this one off my brain. Teaching has been something that has been heavy on my mind as of late, so follow me as I share with you a letter that I would like to address to a select group of my teachers from my public school career. Maybe you can relate.
Dear Extremely Sucky, Racist, Underestimating Teachers of my past,
Fuck you. To this day I harbor a lot of hate for you because of the way you treated me during my career as a K-12 student. The dirty looks you gave me, the assumptions you made about my character without taking the time to get to know me or ask my former teachers about me, the attempts you made to hold me down from progressing academically…the list goes on.
You came from many different subject backgrounds – English, Science…I guess I was an equal opportunity target. I’m sure that you all got very many laughs at my expense back in the day, but times have changed. I’m the one laughing now. And it feels glorious.
I always caught it the worst from the English teachers. There is one particularly evil woman that I think about from time to time now. I’m sure she knows who she is, too, because there was no way in hell that somebody so rotten could have no idea what kind of bullshit they were putting people through. Evil woman, this paragraph is for you. See, you once hinted that a paper that I had actually worked fairly hard on was plagiarized. Why? Because far be it from the girl who you assumed was a dumbass to actually produce a well-written piece of intellectual ramblings. Sure, I slept through your class. Partly because I didn’t want to see your scary face first thing in the morning, perhaps because my rigorous cheerleading schedule (which caused some of you shitty teachers to assume that I was being abused since none of you wanted to accept that cheerleading was a physical sport) kept me from sleeping a lot, but mostly I slept because I knew that I wasn’t going to learn anything from you anyway. Aside from how not to act, that is. Hell, I learned more in two class periods of college English than I did in a whole year with you, Mrs. Witch.
So now I present you with a rare instance of braggadocio. I’m normally quite humble, but I have to let you know this. Look at me now, suckas! I didn’t end up knocked up and a high school dropout, struggling to attain a GED. I graduated two years early despite your efforts to stop it. I’m not worshipping Satan, waiting for my ticket to the fiery depths of hell. I’m not some psychotic militant terrorist. On top of all of that, I’m doing what a good 50% of you swore that I couldn’t – write. And I ain’t plagiarizing a damn thing, either! Feel free to contact me if you’d like an autographed copy of my first print piece. I’ll frame it for you. It’d be my pleasure. And the gorgeous irony of this all is that the thing that made you assume my stance as a fuckup, hip hop, was what provoked me to begin writing in the first place.
In addition to this, I’m only two courses away from completing a major in a science-related field, and I’ll be leaving with honor society membership in that subject intact. Take that, awful science teacher!
But despite my utter loathing for all of you, I’d like to thank you. If it wasn’t for all the hell you gave me, coming out on top wouldn’t feel so damn amazing. And don’t think that I’m stopping here. Nope. I’m not done yet. And I’ll be laughing all the way to the top. In addition, since I have seen firsthand what must be the worst possible example of teaching methods while sitting in your classrooms, you have given me hope for the future of the youth. I mean shit, there’s no other way to go from the bottom than up, right?
With zero love, my middle finger in the air, and the utmost sincerity, I appreciate the absolute nothingness that you did for me throughout my life.
--Amanda