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  • » Name: Amanda Bassa
  • » Location: VA
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When the C-Boys Come Out to Play


March 29, 2008 | Tags: e-thuggery

My last post contained a letter airing out my distaste with the bitchassedness of some of the employees of the public school system of America that I have encountered. I figured that if any one of the people it was directed to ever came across it (unlikely at best), their granny panties would probably get in a bit of a bunch, but little did I know that I would be bunching the panties of our resident e-thugs. Just when I think I’ve seen it all…the most seemingly illiterate and illogical people that roam this section of the internet are actually defending *gasp* the public education system of America!

*faints*

…I must be getting so little sleep that I’m hallucinating or something. Anyway, this blog is for you.

<333

 

 

Dear E-Thugging Comment Sluts of HipHopDX,

Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for taking the time out of your not-so-busy days to read my hormonally-fueled, womanly rants of apparent randomness. And even more importantly, I appreciate you taking the risk of flaring up your chronic case of carpal tunnel syndrome to throw your profanity-laced rants of idiocy and displeasure in my direction via the comments section as you bask in the glory which is your mother’s basement*.

I’m sure my blog section partners in politically-incorrect written crime, such as Mr. Soul or Brillyance, would also love to join me in thanking all of you Macbook-gangstas. It’s thanks to people like you that we get to experience the perks of a little thing called “job security”. Keep the “hits” coming. Pun intended. Your proverbial jabs are the oh-so-painful wakeup call that I need in order to inversely hone my writing skills back down to the second grade level so that you can comprehend what I’m trying to say.

I am left speechless on a regular basis at the energy that you exert in order to attempt to understand my subtle critiquing of the various aspects of the society that I inhabit. I applaud the fact that you don’t give up, but rather return and keep trying. Persistence will eventually pay off, I promise. And one day you’ll be able to see where I’m coming from. I understand your frustration with the fact that you can’t completely comprehend some of my points yet, but don’t fret. With patience, and perhaps the occasional glance away from the computer screen, your brain may develop the ability to think critically. And just as you exhibit that patience by returning repeatedly to this blog, I’ll show the same patience in return as you vent your frustrations via obscenities such as “bitch”, “slut”, “hoe”, and (my personal favorite) “lesbian”. Not that “lesbian” is offensive, it’s just hilarious. I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m straight. Yeah, and you still can’t have me. But that’s another story for another day. My point was that I won’t hold these things against you. I understand that I can be confusing at times, but I am a forgiving soul. So if you need to take your obscene frustrations out on anybody, go ahead and take it out on me. I don’t mind. Better me than somebody else who wouldn’t handle it as well and who may stop speaking to you or something. Better me than your mothers, because God forbid they stop paying the internet bill for you and kick you out of their houses.

I would also like to thank you for hiding behind anonymous, unregistered names. By doing this and handling your business in the comments section, I avoid you caps locking on my bitch ass** in my inbox. That place is already hard enough to navigate. I appreciate you taking the time to categorize the communication from people that I have to read on a daily basis. Organization can make all the difference in productivity.

Without your e-thuggery, DX could be a very dull place. No easy targets, no laugh-inducing comments (R.I.P. blaq piss and cheezydodo, we miss you!), no pointless arguing in the comments section about how utterly amazing you feel Lil Wayne happens to be…things just wouldn’t be the same without you. Without all the incessant spamming, what would the moderators of the site do with all their newfound free time? No bullshit to clean up, no IP addresses to ban…I hope I never have to see the day.

I’m looking forward to another comment thread full of your feedback. If I awoke one day and found that my life was to be void of e-thuggery, I’m not sure what I would do. I have forgotten how to live without it.

I’ll probably be gone for the rest of the weekend, but I’ll miss you all dearly. So, my favorite e-thugs, keep those tech(nological) 9’s cocked and ready to fire. Until next time…

xoxo

--Amanda

 

 

 

 

*PS - Let’s ignore the fact that I wrote this blog from the glory which is my mother’s basement. Hey, at least I’m honest.

**THIS IS VALUABLE ADVICE, SO I’M GOING TO PULL A LUPE FIASCO AND DUMB IT DOWN VIA CAPITAL LETTERS FOR A SECOND SO I’M SURE YOU HEARD ME. DO YOUR BEST FRIEND THE CAPS LOCK KEY A FAVOR AND TRY OUT THE SHIFT KEY THAT LIVES NEXT DOOR SOMETIME. IT NEEDS FINGER LOVING EVERY NOW AND THEN TOO, YOU KNOW? AND ONCE YOU DO THAT, PERHAPS YOU’LL BE READY TO FIND SOME HUMAN COMPANIONSHIP AS WELL.
The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the writer and not necessarily those of HipHopDX.com or Cheri Media Group.

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