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The Hip-Hop Nerd Speaks!

Where Hip-Hop Lives?

The other day, I took a break from my CD’s and my iPods. I went old school in the ride. I usually go old school by putting in some 80’s Hip-Hop. This time, I went old school for me, by putting on the radio. That’s something I haven’t done in awhile. That’s right, I did it.

Usually, I try to stay away from the FM dial. While there are some good songs played, the majority is some cookie cutter mess that They try pass off as Hip-Hop. So much so, that many kids I know believe Ciara and Lloyd are great Hip-Hop acts. Nevertheless, I tuned into where Hip-Hop supposedly lives to find out what actually resides there.

I was laughing. Some of this stuff is just plain dumb. Some of it is fun and some of it is enjoyable. But, a lot of it is straight up crazy. So, I decided to listen and found some laughable material. Follow for now.

The first track I got while on the nameless top station was R. Kelly, T-Pain and T.I. on I’m a Flirt. Catchy tune with senseless “I’m in love with a stripper” talk from T-Pain’s weak singing self. Nice flow from T.I. about how he’ll take your girl. But, I was most impressed by R. Kelly’s uncut bravado. 

“Now swear to tell the truth…And the whole truth…
When it comes to hoes I be pimpin’...

A dog on the prowl when I'm walkin through the mall
If I could, man I probably would fuck wit all y’all.”

Face it. When you are accused of rape and there is a widely publicized video of you allegedly urinating on an under-aged girl, there is a stigma attached to your name. Why on Earth, would you make a song like this? Pimpin’ hoes? A dog on the prowl? Fuck with all y’all? HaHa…Sounds like he’s about release his new album: “If I Did Pee on That Girl.” Wait for it in ’08!

But at least we only have to hear what he has to say once. That is not the case with Mike Jones. (Who?) Mike Jones. I won’t even get into the supposed sex tape he’s got, but his recent hit, “My 6-4,” is equipped with a glaring example how not to write a decent verse. Well, it could also be an example of how to write a horrible, unoriginal, lazy, repetitive verse. I said…It could be an example of…just kidding. Check his lyricism.

…First I lean wit it, then I rock wit it
I got a candy apple drop wit a glock in it
First I lean wit it, then I rock wit it
I got a candy apple drop wit a glock in it
First I lean, then I rock, (Mike Jones)
First I lean, then I rock, (I said!)
First I lean wit it, then I rock wit it…
I got a candy apple drop wit a glock in it.

Jay said he dumbs down for his audience, but Mike Jones is going another route. He seems to be doing this for the hard of hearing. You know, if we really wanted to hear what you had to say again, we could always press rewind. How lazy can you get? You only have to spit for 16 bars, and Mike spends exactly half of his with this weak mumbo-jumbo?

As dumb, or lazy as it may seem, Unk has done a fairly good job of battling him for a weakest verse. At best, Unk battles “The Hokey Pokey” for corniest instructions on a record, ever.  
“See We Goin Form A Line
And We Goin Step It Right
Now Step It To The Left
Girl You Know You Dynamite -Unk “2 Step”

To be fair, the radio played a very few decent songs, before and after these terrific comedic pieces. They also played some terrible stuff that could make this blog longer, but it needs no mention. You get the point. As kids, we are mostly influenced by the mainstream. Kids who think this is the greatest stuff known to music, can’t be blamed. This is all they know. This is all we show them. Hip-Hop doesn’t live there. It lives in the heart. It is also a lot more beautiful than the stuff that is played here. It was good for a laugh, though.

Where Hip-Hop lives? They lied.

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