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Chingy is the C.O.A.T.

I'm a real ni**a and I don't like rappers.  Wow this line from Young Jeezey is poetry to my ears!  I strive not to refer to myself or my brothers and sisters as niggas and I also strive not to use the term real because that term is very cliche.  That line of poetic expression by the Snowman sums up how I feel about Chingy!  I feel as though I didn't do anything wrong to good ol' Ching-a-ling!  I told him he is one of the wackest rappers of all time and that his album, "Hate it or Love It" was his newest weed plate.  Am I not allowed to express my opinion to another man's face whether it's good, bad, or indifferent?  Am I supposed to suck the knee caps and lick the Timberlands of every artist that comes to the studio just because that's what every other radio personality and TV personality does?  If so, then I'm in the wrong business because truthfully that is the problem with the industry today.

That is why people feel like "Hip Hop is Dead" because for some reason it is politically incorrect to have and opinion unless you're in total compliance with the garbage that's being pumped into our baby's brains.  Now back to Chingy, I don't know him personally, I just think artistically and creatively he sucks as a rapper.  He might be a really cool dude who just can't rap.  Chingy doesn't know Charlamagne Tha God either, so how can he say in his video "I don't like that dude"?  No Chingy, what you don't like is my opinion of your music. Did I once refer to Chingy as a bitch or a weak ass dude?  No, I didn't because I wasn't trying to insult the brother.  I was just giving him my honest opinion of his rapping ability (or lack there of).  Did I once mention to Chingy that I often wonder why the greats like Biggie Smalls, Tupac, Big Pun, Pimp C, and Big L get murdered or die but wack rappers like Chingy get to live?  Did I once say that to him?  Then why did Chingy feel the need to tell me to eat shit and die? 

Do you want me to die Chingy?  Wow, this is why I don't like rappers.  He didn't have anything to say in the studio, but three weeks later on youtube he is talking tough.  I'm a bitch; I'm weak, fuck Charlamagne, throwing his middle finger to the camera.  Where was all that when you were in the studio live with me on the air?  Oh I forgot you were sleepy and tired Chingy.  My brother in the game of "I'm a Pussy Poker", that line exposed your Ho card.  I have never been too tired to tell someone, "fuck you" or "kiss my ass"!  I have woken up out of sleep throwing punches, so what the hell is he talking about?  If anything that interview should have woke his ass us up like somebody pouring hot grits on you in the middle of the night.  I'm hoping they remake "The Wizard of Oz" with a hip hop twist and cast Chingy as the Tin man because a few weeks ago you had no heart.  Now all of a sudden you found one? 

Let's just say that I do make 40,000 a year.  That is a better number then your first week sales for "Hate it Or Love it".  If my annual salary was your first week's sales, I would be making a miserable $31,000 a year.  Now I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm getting rich off of radio but I make more a year than "Hate It or Love It" has sold since being released 4 weeks ago on Dec.18th, that would be 50,650 units, just in case you were wondering.  For the record, I don't rap!  Where does this guy come off saying I'm trying to get a deal?  No stupid I have a distribution deal through Lightyear/EMI for my company Stupid Dope Moves Inc.  I'm dropping a compilation album of artist from my home state of South Carolina.  The album titled South Crack "The Album" will be in stores this April.

I have never passed out anyone's demo CD in my life and if I did why would I give it to a man who is destined to star on The Surreal Life season 14?  Everyone stop reading, pause and let that last line find a spot on your brain and burn.  If I was a rapper or even someone who was promoting an artist and trying to get them on (which I am), then why would I give a demo to Chingy?  I must say that Chingy provided me with great motivation this morning because I truly felt insulted.   I feel like I really have to start grinding a lot harder because I have heard rappers diss radio jocks before.  Jay Z got at Star on the "Missing You" remix and he got at Wendy Williams on "A Million".  2 Pac, Will Smith, and Method Man have all verbally dissed Wendy and the first time an artist disses me in an interview it had to be Chingy?  What kind of bullshit is that?  What kind of cruel sick joke is Allah trying to pull on me? 

I have to work harder.  I insult way too many people with real TALENT for Chingy to be the only one addressing me.  Maybe when this book deal goes through (Socially Irresponsible)later this year or when these TV shows I'm developing and shooting pilots for (Vh1 what's goodie) fall into place someone more relevant and with way more lyrical ability than Chingy will get at me.  Maybe Bow Wow might throw a shot at me on 106& Park!  Now where I'm from, when another man calls you bitch- made or weak, he has to be handled.  No this is not the part where I talk reckless like these rappers and say, "When I catch you Chingy I'm going to bury you, punch you in your face," naw, that's corny. 

Guys like Chingy who talk tough like that but have nothing to say in your face because they're softer than the shit that came out of the girl's ass on "2 chicks one cup", deserve wedgies.  You young bucks might not know what a wedgie is so let me define it for you.  A wedgie is having one's underwear or other garments "wedged" between the buttocks.  This can occur as a result of a practical joke, or as a form of bullying , depending on the context and people involved; this is referred to as giving (a person) a wedgie.  When Chingy gets his wedgie, it will definitely be a form of bullying.  

There are four types of wedgies 1)The Atomic wedgie is a wedgie where the rear waistband of the underwear is pulled over the victim's head, causing extreme discomfort and possible ripping of the underwear. 2) The Melvin is a wedgie where the victim's underwear is pulled up from the front.  3)The Hanging wedgie is a wedgie where the victim is hung from some structure with only his underwear as support.  This may also result in ripping of the underwear. 4) The Youtube wedgie is a  wedgie given to wack ass rappers when they talk crazy about radio personalities on the come up and these "on the come up" radio personalities have an album coming out called "South Crack" The Album featuring a who's who of South Carolina artist.  The victim is usually given an Atomic wedgie which is recorded for the world to see and then the video is placed on youtube.  While viewing the video, a commercial is shown about "South Crack" The Album in stores...Stupid Dope Moves/Lightyear/EMI. 

Now ladies and gentleman you decide leave your comments and tell me which wedgie the C.O.A.T (Corniest of All Time) deserves.  God bless you all.  I'm going to take a shit and wipe my ass with Chingy's "Hate It or Love It" album cover.  Someone sent me the promo copy.  I thought they were just trying to make me laugh, but I think they seriously wanted me to listen to it!  I had enough coasters around the crib and I really didn't know what to do with it until all that Curry Goat I ate in Jamaica over the weekend came back to haunt me.  How ironic is it that I am about to wipe my ass with the album cover of a shitty rapper. 

Streetfully Yours, the Dirt Road Don, Charlamagne Tha God

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