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  • » Name: Brillyance
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The Reality From out West

Viewing Posts Tagged "Coonin"   View All

Cooning 2: Attack of the Coons


July 03, 2007 | Tags: Coonin

                I guess me and Mondays just don’t get along to well. Anywayz, I’m back from hiatus, hollering “Hi Haters”, ready to slap the shit outta some people. Unfortunately, that’d slow me down in my race for true happiness, so I decided to just write a blog.



“…All that cornball shit, shuckin' and jivin', that coon shit is over with”
-Planet Asia “The Appraisal”



                I really wish I could say that Planet Asia was inspired by me, but I doubt it, and either way it goes, an attack against cooning is good whether I inspired it or not. I don’t think people understand how much I can’t stand this bullshit. I hate talking to people about hip hop, and then they say some dumb shit like “Oh, do you like that ‘Party like a Rock star’?” or “Oh yea, I love hip hop too, I like that new track “Ay Bay Bay,” I paid 38 dollars to have that shirt made. Every time wear it, either someone talks to me about how they hate the bullshit too, they ask me what cooning is, or they just stare. The fact that the shirt is drawing attention to the subject, it was worth it. I don’t expect it to change the world, I don’t expect Cuba Gooding Jr. to stop doing corny movies, and I don’t expect the Ying Yang Twins to come back to rap kicking lyrics to help uplift the black youth of ATL. I expected to get some people to realize that this modern day minstrel show shit ain’t cool. I wanted to take something that was idiotic and ignorant (the whole stop snitching thing) flip it, and use it to speak out against the sambos (did u know that the Eastside boys, Lil Johns old partners were called Big Sam, and Lil Bo, or some shit like that, I just know it was Sam and Bo, Mos Def made a comment about that before) of modern day urban (cuz it’s not just black people watching this shit) entertainment. Now, let’s e-slap some of the coons around….. 



                Brace yourself. I know a lot of people aren’t gonna like this, but I had to take it here. Morgan Freeman is your classic house nigga. Well, ok, I don’t really know dude, but I’ll speak on what I do know. Morgan Freeman refuses to play a role other than second fiddle to some white person. I was having a discussion with one of my peoples the other day, and it changed both of our opinions of Morgan when we got all the facts together. First of all, dude was “Driving Mrs. Daisy”. He smacked Denzel in “A Soldier’s Story” because Denzel didn’t get along with the white union soldiers. He then told Denzel “They fighting this war for you”…..while you may be confused now a days because in Elementary school they tried to teach you that bullshit, me, anybody else that studies real history, and I’m pretty sure everybody back then KNEW that wasn’t the truth. He smacked Chris Rock in “Nurse Betty” cuz Chris got mad at him cuz they were driving across the country to save some white woman. He played the dumb nigga to Tim Robbins intelligent hoodlum in “Shawshank Redemption”. When Morgan ‘s character finally got out of jail after doing some hard time, instead of trying to go get laid like most released convicts do, what does he do? He goes looking for the white man.  Even in “Seven” when he plays the smarter of the two cops, he’s still second fiddle in the movie. If Morgan Freeman was some trashaholic no name actor, it’d be no big deal. You don’t hear me complaining because Anthony Anderson decided to be the black dude who gets sent to meet his maker in “The Departed”. Shit, that was the best thing he’s ever done movie wise. But this is Morgan Freeman we’re talking about. Dude has skills. It’s hella ironic his last name is Free-man, yet he keeps playing the house nigga.



 







                “Daddy Day Camp”? I don’t know if Cuba will do too much cooning in this flick, but I know it’s gonna be horrible, and besides, Cuba has a “Frequent Cooner” pass. The thing that’s so bad about Cuba Gooding Jr. is he takes all these garbage ass movies. He has no respect for his craft; he’s like pre-patriot MC Hammer of movies. He’ll do anything for money. Back when Hammer couldn’t get money for dancing and putting on huge shows anymore, when gangster rap got big, Hammer started acting hardcore with “Pumps in a Bump”. He switched his whole style and put out garbage. (Not like his older music was good, but it was better) The only difference is Cuba puts out a lot more garbage than Hammer did. I don’t care if he’s in “American Gangster”, TI is in that movie, so I don’t really think you had to be a great actor to get in that flick. I’m afraid for Denzel that movie might be Garbani (garbage). Then It’d be the first whack Denzel movie I know of (even though one of my homies said he did a whack one, I just don’t remember the name). That’s why I fuck with Denzel though; he doesn’t just do anything for bread. I heard they wanted him to do a sex scene with Julia Roberts in “The Pelican Brief” and dude said “Nah, I got a huge fan base of black females, and I don’t want to upset them,” While I don’t agree with black females being upset because an actor plays a role that has him having sex with a white female (In one movie, it’s not like he did “Jungle Fever” then openly dissed black females in real life), dude has standards and you gotta respect that. More black actors should start having them also. I’m sure it’s not easy for any random black cat to bust a Leo Dicaprio and say “no, I’m not doing that flick cuz it’ll be garbage” however, I’m pretty sure at one time, Cuba could have and he didn’t.



 







White folks gangstas and the thugs, ay bay bay??Now, I normally don’t speak on something that has already been spoken on, but this is just too much to ignore. This is Coonalicious. Did u see the guy pretending he was eating when he was dancing? Regardless of what Dave Chappelle said, everything isn’t better in slow mo. Too much fam. I defend the south a lot, Lil Wayne, TI, all those cats, but this dude…..no comment. “So hot up in the club, I ain’t got no shoes on”? Are you fucking serious? What kind of shit is this? I’d like to see someone say that actually like this, and has a high school diploma. “Probably get drunk in the club and put my keys in the wrong car”? Come on man. Then they got that dedication to his homie who passed at the end….lol. Dude is bouncing around like a fairy. Make sure you never get recorded dancing like that, cuz if you get murked, you’ll forever be remembered as the dude dancing like a queerbob at the end of the video for one of the most garbage songs ever. What’s good with Mike Epps? Cube ain’t doing any more Fridays, so he has to charge to be in a cooning ass video since “The Honeymooners” was Garbello Anthony (garbage). GTFOH.



 







 



Let me get this straight….dude takes over a coffee shop and starts selling rims, cell phones, cars, and shoes out of it? What if the people get hungry? No watermelon, chicken and grape soda? Not only does this song and video suck, they got kids working there, that’s against child labor laws.  You got chicks dancing everywhere, the” fat man takes a shit and stinks up the bathroom scene” a midget, a huge obnoxious chain….what more can you ask for? What the hell is wrong with Diddy? How the hell did he stumble across Biggie, and then continuously give us garbage after? Of all the southern rappers with some type of staying power, Young Joc is obviously the worst. (Either him or Lil Scrappy, but Scrappy hasn’t done anything recently, so I’ll give him a pass)



 




 



 









                I’ve never liked Kay Slay. I always thought dude was too arrogant, but then again, who in the rap world from NY isn’t. This however is waaaaaay too much. Recording a video while pretending to take a shit and eat cereal? WTF? It’d be bad enough if he was actually taking a shit, but why pretend? Have people gotten so tired with trying to act hard on street DVDs that they have to find new things to do? Is taking pretending to take a shit on video the new “flash your gun in the camera” moment? Is it gonna replace socking someone during a battle rap for “styling on you”? If this is the case, maybe I should quit writing blogs, get a digital camera, and just say what I feel while taking a shit on camera. This is what Malcolm X died for, so Kay Slay could pretend to take a shit on camera. First Cam’ron at his “vacation home” in his boxers, now Kay Slay taking a shit (allegedly) on camera. I bet Big L is rolling over in his grave at these Harlem dudes. I’m sure Langston Hughes loves how they’re repping Harlem.  New Harlem Renaissance my ass.



                Big shout out to Rayvon for the extra Morgan Freeman info, I go to dude for all my movie info. Also shout out to Mav of the Juice Crew for the photo shop, lol. You got any recent coonin you wanna bring up, go ahead. This shit gotta be exposed and I have no problem doing it. Peace.



 


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