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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Why Dark-Skinned Women Won’t Make It

Now while I don't necessarily agree with what he said (though that shit was funny), in light of the recent turn of events due to the ruckus one Don Imus caused when he referred to one Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hoes [1]", I do believe that in his own hilariously fucked up way he implied out loud what most men (myself included) have been unconsciously trained to think since the dawn of bleaching cream: darker-skinned women aren't as desirable as their lighter counterparts.

But that pretty much goes without saying. For years black women have essentially been tricked by their cracka-ass oppressors that, for the most part, if you're not the color of a yellow highlighter, the opportunities to shine your favorite rapper's weed carrier's balls come few and in between. Pause. Why else do you see many of them straightening their hair, and in some freakish cases, upgrading their skin tone from an asphalt complexion to one that is more jaundice-like?

Part of the reason could pertain to the tall Israelis brainwashing the black community into believing that if you don't look resemble a ghoul you won't be able to make it in this society. Obviously aware of the inherited whiteness that comes from centuries of gang rapes from their white slave owners, the TIs have made it a point to establish the lighter black woman as the dominant female throughout almost all forms of media. I mean, you really don't see too many women my complexion (which can be desribed as somewhere between 12:38 a.m. and 3:47 a.m.) winning Oscars or at least getting doused with expensive champagne in music videos now, do you?

And it's not like this didn't affect black men as well. There was once a time where if our skin didn't resemble Al. B. Sure's or Prince's, we had about as much a chance bagging a woman we had landing a non-janitorial job at a top-5 law firm. That was until, of course, women realized that dark-skinned men have larger johnsons. Pause.

And now desirable darker-themed women are becoming even more of an endangered species, what with more cracka-ass females taking a liking to - and eventually adapting - the black woman's voluptuous shape (read: P.A.W.Gs). As if being the black man's kryptonite wasn't dangerous enough already.

[1] Though in his defense, I saw the Rutgers team's press conference on SportsCenter the other night. Yikes!

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