June 08, 2007 | Tags: none
Before I begin this shit, I must stress once again that I don’t have a problem with both homosexuality and the homosexual community. In fact, nothing is sexier than two women scissoring in some random-ass
Round & Brown video I stole off the Internets, but I digress. I mean, if I can watch a chick get BuFu’d by another broad with a strap-on (I’m looking at you Pinky), watching some random-ass dude plow her isn’t too queer, right?
Extra pause no Razor Ramon with a side of Koko B. Ware on this entire blog, just to be on the safe side.
Anyways, hip-hop is supposed to be the most homophobic genre of music in the sense that there would probably never be a top-selling homosexual rapper thanks to the decidedly anti-gay slander of your favorite artists, because we all know if you really want to shit on your enemy’s credibility, the quickest way to do so is to call them a fruit bag. If that’s the case then, why is it more often than not I see some gay-ass shit on the regular? I understand that today’s society is much more tolerant than it was a good ten years ago, but a lot of your favorite artists have been pulling the most random-ass shit that borderlines – or in some cases crosses that line – on Fagitry. I could throw the blame on poor record sales forcing artists and executives to try “creative measures” to attract attention, but I don’t think the TIs would even approve of any of the shit that’s been going on lately.
Someone I’ve always considered rather fruity (or simply touched in the head) was the R&B equivalent of Jerry Lee Lewis: R. Kelly. Despite being able to afford all the legal tang he could eat, what with making songs comparing women to gas-guzzling cars and whatnot, he married Aaliyah when she was a ninth grader, effectively ethering out any past, present and future fantasies I had of her. So by the time he plopped his johnson on Sparkle’s niece’s forehead and used her face as target practice some seven years later, I figured he was simply taking his frustrations out on children because perhaps he was touched by his pops when he was young. Word to Michael Jackson.
But here’s the interesting thing: most of the jigs you see saying or doing some sideways sensitive shit are usually the ones who portray themselves as du-rag wearing goons who’ll pop a kufi off if it’s tilted the wrong way. I’d never imagine someone the likes of Omar from
The Wire would have the enormous following he has now. When I went to junior high school with him, Ray J was never the tough, tight t-shirt-wearing schmuck he portrays in public now. Between having Sinbad touch him from the inside between takes of their shitty sitcom and getting jumped everyday after gym class, young Willie Norwood was never the atypical fake-ass thug you see today. In his defense, he somehow bagged Kim Kardashian, but I think that stemmed from the fact that his sister is the only hardbody member of that family, what with her molly whopping some African on the freeway a while back. Then again, the high-yellow jig that got shot by Big Boi on
ATL just smashed that last week, so it’s not like Kim’s preserving her sexy or anything.
Although certain regions in the South have higher concentrations of homosexuals than the norm (don’t front), I’d never assume that the "tough guy" rappers there would engage in some flagrantly fruity shit. Funny thing is, despite all of this they’re still making a lot of, if not more, noise. If I were to call myself the best rapper alive and then get caught kissing my surrogate father on some faux Fat Tony shit, I’m pretty sure my record sales and fan base would go down the shitter, yet Weasel F. Fraggle inexplicably gains more fans on a daily basis. Meanwhile, my rapping brother from another mother Donwill posted the “infamous” video of T-Pain running around spewing some wild homo jibba jabba about Willie Norwood’s meat last week, and he has the number three single in America right now. Could it be that because of their quasi-homosexual banter that they’ve gained a new, down-low fan base? I’m just saying.
If this trend continues, I’d actually welcome the rants of some random-ass e-thug threatening to put something hot in my face. Perhaps then I’d get enough comments to convince my overlords to increase the digit I make here per month. But knowing my luck, my career would probably end up like
Fat Lip's.
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