• » Name: Meka Soul
• » Location: Los Angeles, CA
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	June 2007
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

What’s Going On?

If there’s one thing we can all agree on here, it’s that Tuesday’s B.E.T. Awards show was a certified shit sammich. When I watched bits & pieces of the show on the television and Internets, I honestly didn’t expect something that horrendously awful to be broadcasted. At the same time, this is the same channel that’s feebly trying to pass off shitty straight-to-DVD movies as “blackbusters” (whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean), so it’s not like I should have expected Topdog/Underdog or something.

If anything should be learned from all of this, it’s that the B.E.T. Awards should be considered a harbinger of more bad shit to come. I may be looking a little too deep into this, but it seems like as soon as some garbage rapper decides to step out of pocket and onto someone else’s face, the hip-hop world goes to Hell a little quicker than it should. As soon as that one guy treated Dr. Dre like Glass Joe at the Vibe Awards a few years back, in the months that followed Shirley Chisholm, Johnnie Cochran, Luther Vandross and Richard Pryor among others passed. And I’m not gonna even touch the kiss of death that was Hurricane Katrina. And look at this year; Kanye allegedly had too much “sippy-sippy” (is that what they’re calling it now?) and showed his ass Dirt McGirt-style at some random-ass MTV Awards show out in Europe to kick off this year, and everything’s gone straight down the shitter.

2006 wasn’t a good year for piff pocketers either. I’m pretty sure that if “bullet-taking” wasn’t left out of the job description, most people probably wouldn’t want to hold an umbrella over your favorite rapper for a living. We already know that Busta Rhymes’, T.I.’s and Eminem’s lackeys were picked off in a rather convincing fashion, but the worst one of all (though definitely the funniest of the bunch) may have been Nelly’s moolie Ali, who supposedly got tasered by the fuzz so bad he ended up shitting his pants.

Now here we are almost seven months into the year, and hip-hop hasn’t seen one platinum-selling act. On the other hand, Fat Joe got two random-ass Mexicans ethered, Cam’Ron got his retina crushed by Tru-Life for looking at Jay-Z with the  “come hither” eyes, Tony Yayo slapped a kid for wearing the wrong shirt, Foxy Brown’s shoulders, chest, pants, shoes and hearing aid got gaffled by her ex-boyfriend/pimp's nappy headed hoes and T.I. sucker-punched some hump who named himself after the African warrior who was killed by his own brothers at a brunch of all places. What’s next, somebody’s gonna get their ass kicked at a country club? Wait a minute...

Things are really fucked up in hip-hop, and if things continue the way they’ve been going, I may have to quit this rap shit just so I can hold on to the privilege of sleeping every night. The last thing I need is someone to pop my kufi off on some random-ass, Grand Theft Auto-style shit.

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