• » Name: J. Burnett
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Why Think Let Me Do That...Jesus Approved Commentary

Can We Get Off The South's Dick for like 3 Seconds PLEASE

Initially, I was supposed to write a post at work about how I thought Lil Wayne would inherit (pay attention: commenters and watch what I do here) the mainstream throne, but it's becoming apparent that I need to address something else; THE HABITUAL DICK RIDING OF THE SOUTH IN MYRIAD BLOGS. It seem like it's becoming the trend du jour in the blogosphere to hate on the South. Cats could be blogging about Barack Obama and it still seems that they'll throw in a "oh yea, the South is wack, Lil Wayne is gay or Young Jeezy killed hip hop. WTF?!?!

I'm saying when did habitual hating become what's up. I do my fair share of hatin' (last post on T.I.) but I back how I feel with evidence. I really do feel that cats get some type of giggles out of stirrin up the less articulate internet Gs. I can see if you making a legitimate point backed by evidence, but in the Chi we call habitual hating dick riding and riding dick is the opposite of hip hop... it's gay. So let's lay off the down South bashing for just a second. (no moe moe on prior references to dick)

Truth be told, hip hop was headed for a train wreck for a minute and it really don't have shit to do with the South but that's a whole other blog. Okay, the South produced D4L, Dem Franchize Boyz and a shiteload of other bullshit, but where were the detractors when that supremely retarded Chicken Noodle Soup shit was poppin or the Harlem Shake(NY), that Pop Lock and Drop It BS (Midwest) or that Lip Gloss duck sicking anthem and that Hyphy shit (the West) still don't sit right with me (epilepsy anybody) but the truth is most of those tracks are 1) only to be understood locally/regionally and 2) most of that shit is for kids trying to get their jollys off at a party. Every region has retards who make music strictly for the $$$. That isn't nothing new. It's like studs don't have other shit to write about besides how gay Wayne is or how Jeezy can't rap. What else is new? The South is like every other coast. They got legends (Kast, U.G.K., Goodie Mob), they got cats with potential (Little Brother) and then they got niggas that's straight wack but I can't see how that's any different from the East, West or Midwest.

Let the hating begin...

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Lupe = New School Canibus???

I pray…I PRAY to God that Lupe doesn’t catch the same proverbial schlong Canibus caught (pause).  But real talk, in rap music, you can be too good (aka too lyrical) and that n***a right there (sorry Russell) is light years ahead of the next rapper in line, whoever that may be.

I remember when Canibus first came out. No one wanted to say it, but I’ll say it now HE WAS THE BEST FUCKING RAPPER, HANDS DOWN!!! Line for line NOBODY was fucking with him, period One time, I saw a dude who heard one of his verses have a seizure, vomit, then pass out. Nah, I’m bullshittin’ but he was mad nice and the only snag he had was that he was on that uber-nerd, scientific/conspiracy theory, weird dude riding on the back of the bus shit. And that shit wasn’t what was up back then. Either you was jiggy or grimey. Plus, the fact he let Wyclef produce his album (which probably turned out to be the biggest douchebag move in hip hop history). But, the first time I heard one of his 16s, I already knew he was dookeying on my favorite rapper. I just didn’t want to admit it.

It’s the same thing with Lupe. All respect due to Hov, but when you hear Lupe on a track with him you can’t help but to think “damn Lupe’s way better than Jay.” Let’s keep it 100. Lupe took the original verse from “Pressure” off the retail probably so he wouldn’t make Hov look too bad—a good gesture towards the elderly. 

Him being too good will probably be his downfall. Here’s how it will play out. Lupe will put out The Cool. Critically, it’ll be a success. Sales-wise it will brick like Food and Liquor. The record label (the real gangstas) will put that pressure on him and 1) he'll either move to Koch or a Koch like label or 2) he’ll fold and be making ring tone tracks like TPainakon or some shit because all that creative wordplay don’t mean shit when it comes down to the bottomline. And it’s all because cats don’t want to pick up a dictionary and feel him (pause). It’s like dude will have to dumb down the bars for cats to really keep up. As much I hate to see it happen to Lupe, it seems inevitable that he’ll either have to change his steez up or go broke trying to get dummies to become literate. I can’t imagine someone that intelligent thriving in this rap game. Right now, if your shit doesn’t convert to a polyphonic ring tone or a 10 year old can’t figure it out you’re worthless to the majors. (steps down from the soapbox) (smh)

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T.I.: King of the Atl Maybe…The South, Not So Much

So, I’ve heard T.I.’s first couple of tracks from T.I. Vs. T.I.P. and I can’t help but think “looks like I’ll have another weed plate soon.” Well, I wouldn’t say that because I wouldn’t buy the cd anyway but still you get the point; T.I. next lp = shitty album in the making. Coupled with the fact, the dude is working with Wyclef on a number of tracks (yeah, the dude that napalmed Canibus’ career/life) and simply put, shit ain’t looking too good.

But after I came to the realization that T.I. was going to put other another frisbee, I got to thinking “Hmmm…when has this dude ever put out a great album?” No, not an okay album, not a so-so album, but a classic or at least near classic. And the survey says, NEVER. I’m Serious was good. Trap Muzik was decent. Urban Legend was butt and King had a production line-up that a teething baby couldn’t fail with. And even when cats talk about it, all they say is “it sold a shit load of copies.” No one ever says the shit was fire.

T.I.’s formula of success is a Southern accent + okay flow (lightweight East coast) and at the time he debuted that pretty much made you the best. When T.I. came out, NOT ALL but most, southern rap (barring OutKast, Scarface, UGK and a select few others) consisted of screaming into a mic and adding as much bass as possible on the track. But even when he came out, Ludacris was better than him BY FAR. His flow was/is better; his lyrics were/are better; his albums were/are better. I never quite figured out why people favored T.I. over Luda besides the fact that Luda is a clown-like rapper not a gangster/trapper which somehow in the absurd world of rap makes you a less talented rapper. But anyways, the only justifiable reason I can come up with for T.I. being deemed the king of the South is because no one else applied for the job.

Following his formula, I will now deem myself the king of blogging and in about 3-4 months I’ll be making mad bread having ménages with internet groupies that respect my diction.

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